perfect.

trae is at school, my parents just took avery with them to a basketball game, jane is sleeping, my house is clean and it's only six thirty.  i thought about taking a lovely evening nap but then i'd be mad at myself later when i couldn't fall asleep around midnight. so instead of blog stalking/pinteresting, two things i am very good at, i decided i could do a little updating around here.

jane is a month old today. i'm a little bit mad about it, it all goes way too fast.  i've said it before but there is nothing on this earth quite like a newborn baby.  all i have to do is look at her and my heart tightens up and tears start to swell.  i've been thinking lately how i am such an imperfect person, yet Heavenly Father created this little perfect being, from me, for me to teach and raise and love and learn from.  what an amazing miracle that is. every time i hold her, i am holding this little perfect piece of me and part of God. maybe he wants to remind us that one day we can be perfect just like Him and just like little children.  we have that potential in us,  it is just buried deep beneath imperfections.

(picture taken by my sis, Mckell)

there are so many things that i love about new babies.  i love Jane's funny little squeaks and grunts.  i love her perfect nose and her head of dark brown hair.  i love her long skinny toes and fingers, and how her fingers curl right around mine every time she eats.  i love her little newborn stretches, especially right out of her car seat.  i love her little sleepy grins and her real live smiles i get every now and then.  i love her funny facial expressions when she is trying to wake up or during a good dream.  even her sad little cry is adorable. i love that as her mom, i am responsible for feeding and teaching and caring for her.  and i can do that for her better than anyone else can.  there are so many things that i don't want to forget about this stage but somehow seem to over time.

i need to find a good picture of avery at this stage.  i keep telling myself that they don't look that much alike but every time i take a picture of Jane i am proven wrong.  she is filling out so nicely and i love it.  last night she only woke up once and a chorus of angels sang from heaven, and i actually accomplished something during the day because i woke feeling well rested and rejuvenated, rather than exhausted and lazy. she really is so sweet. but now she is ready to eat, and letting me know it, so i better go.