i love this face (2)

i have been a slightly pathetic blogger. forgive me? we are getting trunky and ready to go home.  we have had a great time but our little family is ready for something new. only 27 days. we made ourselves a count down chain last night but it's not really supressing the 'cant wait to be home' feelings. ave has been having occasional breakdowns over how much she misses home and wants to go to grandma and grandpas house and play in the snow or jump on the tramp or feed papas cows or eat nemo fruit snacks and spaghettios with grandma, etc.. i am amazed at how she holds onto those few memories of grandpa and grandmas house and now craves them.

 i remembered this post the other night while ave was sitting on my bed.  take one was slightly more animated but this one is funny too. i don't know why i always choose to do it with food on her face, no shirt, and crazy hair, but sometime thats our life.  if only you could see the personality behind these faces.  the other day when i was telling avery something she said "mom, i don't understand you" with a sassy little attitude.  feelings are mutual sweet girl.  i wish i knew every little thing that went on in that mind of hers but instead i just laugh at her hilariousness.  

i can't wait for my family to see how much she has grown up over the last 4-5 months.  she is a total spit-fire. i'm pretty sure that living with a house full of teenagers has taught her a little extra sass and attitude and most days don't pass without a battle or two. but today she has been the most pleasant thing and i've loved every single second of her.  right now she is in love with us making up stories for her before naps and bedtime.  her dad is far more creative than i am.   i could listen to him make up stories for her every night and listen to her giggle at how silly they are, while wondering how i got so lucky. how did i? its even cuter to listen to her make up stories or try to retell her daddies stories while she reads books to her dolls and stuffed animals.  

oh the life of a 2 year old.

i have to speak in church again this Sunday.  2 times in less than a year.  is that normal?  pretty sure i'm gonna have trae stand up with me and translate some of it.  i've done the type my talk in portuguese and read straight off the paper route one time already and frankly, my portuguese hasn't improved a ton since then.  this way i can focus a little more on the content and saying what i'm thinking rather than wondering if what i just said was even a word or made sense. 

trae is still sick of being sick but hopefully on the up-side of it all.  he is seriously the best dad. ave is head over hills for him and has him wrapped around her little finger and i am more in love with him every single day.  right now as i type, trae just told ave that he needed to go take his medicine and ave got all sad and said "oh, are you not feeling berry good dad.  do you need a kiss?  mom, he needs a kiss?" i think ave and i better go kiss him better.  that doesn't sound too bad to me.

um ano. one year.

we made it. one year down.  now, if i were a missionary it would be our hump day, but thankfully our one year mark wasn't just the halfway point. we only have 5 weeks left.  i dont know really how to sum up my thoughts of living in brasil. it was much different than i expected, good and bad. perhaps when we leave for good i'll give a more detailed thought summary of our experience here.  

since coming back in january we've  had kind of a rough go, well, trae has had a rough time.  we came back and moved into our new apartment that is soooo nice. unfortunately, everything is not so nice. pretty much since the day we came back trae has been sick. we can probably count on one hand the days that he has felt 100%.  first we thought it was the flu, then just a bad cold, then we were convinced it was an allergy to our air conditioner or something like that.  we tried sleeping with out the air on (so not fun in this climate) and trae tried to sleep in other rooms and the living room. no one was really affected except for trae.  the only place where he is okay is out in the living room and kitchen where there are lots of window.  we are now pretty much 100% convinced that trae is allergic to mold. living in a beyond humid climate you pretty much cant avoid it, but it just doesn't have an affect on anyone but him.  he has gotten 5 boils in the last month or so as a result of the allergy and infection in his body on top of nauseousness and other allergy symptoms . he has tried about every kind of allergy medicine and drops and antibiotics.  we havent slept in the same bed for well over a month now because he cant sleep in any of the rooms so he sleeps out on the couch or the hammock with out an air conditionar and averages way too little sleep each night.  certainly not ideal.  we are both SO sick of him being sick. its obviously not fun.  but we are dealing with it and are on the countdown for the return to normalcy.  bless his heart. seriously.

we didn't really do anything to celebrate one year here. well, i had 4 maple bars for breakfast, ave filled up on leftover frosting, and i took a nap until avery kissed me and said 'wake up sleeping beauty,' while trae went to see a doctor, played soccer and did seminary visits (he's our wards seminary teacher, along with 2 other callings, like i said, bless his heart).  pretty relaxing.
and that is just fine with me.

because i am a mom

i can not think of the right words that really express my feelings about getting to be a mom.  

i can not think of a better thing i could be doing with my time and energy.

i can not be good at everything.

i can not thank my own mother enough for teaching me how to be a mom.

i can not think of any one thing that would bring me greater joy than raising this little girl.

i can not always give my children what they want.

i can not express enough thanks to my mother in law for raising my husband.

i can not always handle the pressures and frustrations properly.

i can not always be super nice.

i can not fully comprehend all of the blessings i receive from choosing to be a mom.

i can not completely protect my children from the wicked world.

i can not do it all.

  but

i can tell my little girl how much i love her multiple times a day.

i can thank my father in heaven each day for blessing me with his precious daughter.

i can continue to learn from my mother and hopefully one day be the mom that she is today.

i can find ways to make our family happier.

i can prepare my little girl to be a mother one day.

i can make a mean grilled cheese and cup of chocolate milk.

i can thank the many generations of mothers that have shaped who i am today.

i can be an example to others.

i can show my children how to love, forgive, laugh and to serve.

i can whipe off tears and clean dirty bums.

i can pray for the Spirits help to be a better wife and mom.

i can teach my children.

i can begin to understand how much love a heart has to give.

because i am a mom.

(the best easter picture we could come up with)

thank you to all the moms in my life. i am blessed and happy.

``few of us with reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mothers who bore us and the mothers who bear with us.`` 

-sheri l. dew

happy mothers day!